Friday, August 1, 2008

Nelly is a Simp, Not a Pimp

Photos have emerged online of a drunken-looking Nelly cozying up to an ugly stripper in Atlanta while he was there attending Jermaine Dupri's annual So So Def Celebrity Weekend of festivities.

SOHH is reporting that Nelly is supposed to be mad that someone snapped the photos and he's worried what Ashanti will say when she sees them.


An SOHH gossip columnist says the following:

According to my source the potentially damaging images caused Nelly to lash out at certain bloggers at an Atlanta area bowling alley last night who were coming to the defense of said photographer. Nelly was seen by many cussing and screaming at one blogger for even bringing the issue to his attention. Apparently he’s very upset because he gave every photographer specific instructions to NOT photograph him in any compromising positions. Since landing his new deal with Sean John it’s been said that it’s important that Nelly represent himself and the Sean John brand appropriately.

The new pictures are adding further fuel to the fire about that rumored child he fathered with a stripper.

A few quick and obvious questions: doesn't this guy Nelly describe himself as a pimp? Doesn't he sell some energy elixir called "Pimp Juice"? What is he afraid of?

It's not like Ashanti is on Beyonce's level, or even Ciara's for that matter.

Ashanti, like her man, is on the verge of falling off beyond the point of no return. Nelly has nothing to lose if she leaves him and he can always find a much better-looking (those damned sideburns!) and probably more talented (her singing is atrocious) replacement for Ashanti. But instead, Mr Pimp Juice is afraid of what her reaction will be (or already is...).

I hate frauds, and to me this is worse than the silly Rick Ross debacle.

Because any semi-educated, casual listener of Hiphop music can discern between reality and fantasy. I don't think anybody ever believed that Rick Ross was an actual drug kingpin with ties to Manuel Noriega and Pablo Escobar.

However, with Nelly's riches, youth and one-time extreme popularity, there is no doubt in my mind that he literally could have been with a new woman each night of the year. And he made this known in his lyrics.

Especially on the song "Play It Off," in which he "em-singed" about playing off any accusations of cheating his girl would levy against him, indicating that a cavalier lie to his girl would allay any of her concerns. I wonder if he's considering using that tactic this time around...

I love witnessing every aspect of Nelly's demise. I wish him all the worst for all the near irreparable damage he's inflicted on modern rap music, and pop music as a whole. It is only a matter of a few weeks before his new album is scheduled to drop, at which point I expect/hope for a prompt flop accompanied by a swift exit from the rap music industry.

No comments: